What if we could accept that we are a nation of  people who hoard things. Most everyone will tell you they have more than they need. Many people will  keep things because of memories or guilt, perceived value or some other reasonable explanation.

On the far end of the scale there are those that accumulate so much that it impacts their lives and relationships and when that happens judgment and shame sets in. Worry and arguments and tensions arise.   When family members, neighbors, and officials become involved the problem is now turned into a full-on battle. Opposing sides claiming there is a right way and a wrong way to live.

What if we change the tone and end  the fight. The battle to reach a certain outcome of “normal” behavior.

What if  we accept that this is part of the behavior right now. What can we do to make the home safe right now.

Start with an energy of love, acceptance and understanding, rather than trying to fight it. Start with focusing on the person instead of claiming it is wrong. Start with a lower expectation, rather than making hoarding into the identity: A HOARDER. None of this is helpful and will cause frustration, sadness and a lot more suffering.

What if we no one can  “fix” this? What if it does not go away?  What small things can I do today to stay safe in my home?  What small thing can I do today to prioritize my relationships over material things?  Focus on one small step at a time. Over time you will see results.

Accept that hoarding is a behavior in this moment that it  requires a plan of action. . It can be complex but it is not hopeless.

We can start to make a positive impact if we can change the focus, lighten up and learn to live with it instead of against it.